Well Whaddya Know

I have discovered something about myself through this imposed not-blogging during the day. I mean besides the fact that I don’t like it. I’ve discovered something I didn’t realize about what blogging is for me. It’s another creative outlet, even though sometimes I feel like my posts fall flat, are boring or I’m just writing for the sake of writing. And some days, they do, they are and I am. However, it’s not just a creative outlet, it’s also habit. And frankly, I don’t take too kindly to my habits being broken by someone other than me.

I like writing. I like voicing my thoughts out to the internet because there is some form of anonymity to writing to the internet despite the sometimes personal revelations I write. The nice thing is that I control what I share, how I share it and to what extent I let you see who I am. There are a lot of things that are harder to read into a blog post than hearing a voice or watching body language during a conversation with a person. I also find it interesting that writing things on my blog are often times a lot easier than saying them in person. Kind of like talking to a stranger and being more comfortable telling them something you wouldn’t tell your closest friend of family.

That is probably why for a long time, I didn’t really tell my friends about my blog. Part of it was embarrassment and part of it was because sometimes it was because there were things I would rather share with a complete stranger and how could I share with a complete stranger if I knew my friends were reading it? Even now that they know about it, a lot of times I pretend that they don’t read it or refuse to think about the fact that they read it. It’s a very convoluted logic that probably makes no sense to anyone but me.

And while I certainly love comments , I don’t blog for the sole purpose of seeing how many comments I get. Don’t get me wrong, I love knowing that people read what I write and they like it enough to leave me a comment. That is really nice and I appreciate it greatly. But the real reason I blog is for the release it gives me to write down some of the things that swirl around in my head. It frees up precious real estate and allows new thoughts and ideas to find a place. A lot of it is about my knitting because this blog originally started out as a knitting blog, but I have found that no matter how much I love knitting and spinning and how much I do it, I get tired of only talking about knitting here. I am more than what I knit (or don’t finish knitting).

I like sharing thoughts, observations and especially stream of consciousness. Sometimes stream of consciousness is my favorite way to blog because it is interesting even for me to see where I go with it. It is also probably truest to how I interact with friends on a regular basis. (I do believe Celeste will agree with that 100%. You really never know what I’m going to say and she has warned many a person about that.)

Another thing I really like about blogging is that when I was younger I toyed with the idea of being a writer. I even considered majoring in English while I was in college, but that was a very brief consideration. I mean, while I do like to write, I’ve never been one to enjoy writing what I’ve been told to write. And until I started blogging, I was never good at keeping a diary or a journal. But I do love to tell a good story and it’s so much easier to do that by blogging. At least for me it is, because I get to make all the rules on how I will tell my story. That surely has to count for something, right?

And these are some of the things I’ve come to realize as to why blogging is so appealing to me. It has become a natural part of not just how I communicate, but to some extent a part of who I am. That probably sounds hokey, but in this day and age of technology and the world becoming more and more flat, it just seems like natural progression to me. I am evolving with the times.

And that is what I have discovered about myself lately.

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