Say it ain’t so! Will I be able to make it until NEXT Wednesday before I see another episode of Alias? Stay tuned……
Alas, where has this week gone? I have not picked up any knitting yet! Of course, I think about knitting while I lay on my couch and completely veg out…….lazy, I am. I have been in my manic, overanalyzing mode here lately and it’s starting to get old. I need a break from myself. 
I’m feeling vaguely unsatisfied with my life and I’ve just been trying to figure out why. I had a very intense conversation wtih myself in my head while walking the dogs last night and have come to a conclusion. I have always had a great fear of being a failure. A failure in what manner? I suppose at life. I have also been unable to pin down exactly what it is I want to pursue in my life career wise. I see my friends happy in their jobs or in amazing fields of work and I just wonder why it is I continue to stagnate. Maybe it’s because I cannot make up my mind as to what I want to do professionally.
I don’t want to go back to school again, but feel like I should get a master’s degree. In what? I don’t know. I think about getting my master’s in library science and becoming a librarian. Do I really want to do that? Probably not.
I think I want to become a foreign service officer, but every time I start to study for the test or read up on the position or process to become an FSO, I become disappointed and discouraged. Partly because the process is long and drawn out and partly because I hate politics and the job is in a political arena. Twisted, isn’t it? So then you’re wondering, “Why do you even want to be a foreign service officer?” Because I love to travel and visit other countries. I grew up in a foreign country. It’s normal to me. I like helping people.
I feel like an overachiever who is underachieving. Does that even make sense? It’s all very frustrating. So, in order to counter all the frustration, I’m going to play the lotto, win, travel, buy lots of yarn and knit everywhere I go. 
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