Little Miss Drama Pants

a hot asiany mess


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Blah Humbug

I hate Christmas. I’ve said this before and probably several different times. Where I work, the Christmas decorations go up in the first week of November. By the time December rolls around, I’ve already moved on to being ready for the New Year, but I’ve got another thirty-damn-one days left to go.Commercials are rampant with BUYBUYBUY and despite the fact that the entire nation is in a recession barrelling head first into another great depression, the pressure to buy more and outdo last year or at the very least, live up to last year’s Christmas breathes down the back of your neck.

Or maybe that’s just me.

Add to that the fairy tales of Santa Clause and the birth of Jesus and there is too much hoopla for my liking. Breathe down my neck all you want about me calling the birth of Jesus a fairy tale, but if he was born in the manner described in the bible, then he was born in the spring, not in winter. If you’ve ever been to that area of the world, or know someone who has been, then you would know that winters are actually pretty cold there and a shepherd would NOT have been tending his flock by night out in a field IN THE DEAD OF WINTER. But I digress.

And as for Santa, my sister and I had that figured out very early in life since “Santa’s” handwriting looked EXACTLY like my mother’s. I think I was 5 or 6 when I figured it out. Plus, I like the Dutch version of Christmas better, anyway. Much more entertaining. Especially when you hear David Sedaris tell it. (That’s a link to the audio of him relating the tale of St. Nicholas. It’s long, but worth the time it takes to listen to it.)

Couple that with my almost complete inability to deal with winter and you can forget me being any fun. Also? All my childhood traditions that involved Christmas? Gone. I will never be able to recreate that. We spent every year we were in Saudi at the beach all day long Christmas day after we opened our presents. Sometimes we raced through opening presents just to get to the beach faster. And it wasn’t just us. It was a big group of unrelated people that would go and spend the day playing on the beach and then go home to eat a HUGE dinner at someone’s house. You can forget that happening in December in Alabama.

I find that I feel more alienated from my friends and family this time of year than any other time of the year and I hate it. HATE IT.

Geez, pity party much?

I think I’ll go knit a baby sweater now.


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In Which I Don?t Learn From My Mistakes

A couple years ago, I made my mom a lovely lace scarf from Last Minute Knitted Gifts. Let?s just say that it went unappreciated. I took it back from her after I went over to their house and saw it lying in the floor ? covered in dust and also after she suggested she give the cashmere/silk scarf to a child. Let?s just say I was angry and disappointed.

Fast forward about 4 years. My parents come over Sunday. I ask my mom to try on the Honeycomb Ladder sock. It fits her and I like the way it looks on her better than on me. Guess who?s getting that pair of socks? Also, she asked for a scarf. I showed her the KPPPM that is going to become the Chevron Scarf. She liked the yarn and the pattern. Guess who?s getting that too?

I think I have lost my mind.

B, always my cheerleader and number one supporter, said to me, ?At least you have an excuse to start that scarf now.?

It?s scary how well he understands the knitting addiction.

I told my mom not to expect them until Christmas. She was fine with that, but kept offering to pay for the scarf. I told her she didn?t have to pay for her Christmas present. (I?m such a good daughter.)

Looks like I have roped myself into Christmas knitting ? something I swore I would never do. Way to go, idiot.

But in all fairness, I?m doing a LOT of Christmas knitting, not just for my mom. When I do stuff, I like to go all out. No easing in for me. I?m a jump right on into the deep end kind of gal.

Observe:

Mom ? socks (50%) & chevron scarf
MIL ? shawl
SMIL ? shawl (done)
SIL ? shawl (in progress)

Nice, huh? Though really, considering that it?s August and I?ve got one sock and one shawl finished, I think I can finish it all as long as I don?t get sidetracked.

You can stop laughing now.

Seriously.

Get off the floor. It?s not that funny.

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Wii Had A Merry Christmas, How 'Bout You?

Let Me Show You How It's Done
Showing the Boy how it’s done.

Wii had a great Christmas. There were no major meltdowns had by anyone and no awkward and embarrassing moments while doing the rounds with all the parents. I consider this a great success. Wii got a Wii for Christmas. Or, technically the Boy did, but the Transformers game showed up in my stocking and a controller and nunchuck add-on showed up in B’s stocking and we told him that they showed up in our stockings so we would all share the Wii.?It all?worked out fine. He wouldn’t have had any qualms in sharing it with us anyway, because he likes playing video games with us. But it never hurts to drive home the?Theory of Sharing? every now and then, especially at Christmas. What I do not have pictures of, but what will eventually end up on YouTube, I’m sure, is video footage?of B and his brother boxing on the Wii. Two more unboxer-like moving people will you ever see. It was entertaining, to say the least.

B and I originally weren’t going to exchange gifts, but when we were out doing some shopping at Target, there were a few things we ended up picking up for each other. He got a brand new electric razor that he DESPERATELY needed (his old one had a crack in the casing that leaked hair EVERYWHERE).?I told him he would ruin Christmas if he did not pick it up and put it in the basket RIGHT THIS INSTANT. So he got a new razor for Christmas. Of course, my husband is not one to be outdone, so he went back to Target a few days later?without me and got me the sewing machine I have been coveting. Of course, I had already beat it out of him prior to his going just exactly what the intended nature of his visit to Target was. Despite that,?I was still happy and surprised when he brought it home.

And no, I haven’t actually used it yet, but it is out of the box and on the dining room table. I’ve read through the directions a few times, but that’s as far as I’ve gotten. Oh, and I went to Wal-Mart and got a few yards of fabric to attempt sewing on my brand new sewing machine. But to tell you the truth? I’m a little scared of it.

I mean, I know THIS much about sewing: [crickets]

Yeah, that would be nothing. But I am excited and I’m hoping to at least get the bobbins threaded this evening. We’ll see what happens from there.

I hope you all had a great Tuesday off and enjoyed it however you saw fit.


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Marshy the (Knitting) Smoreman

Smoreman

Have you seen anything more fantastic? And delicious? This is what Wendy of CatKnits gave me for being her Ornament Swap person. Best. Ornament. Ever. It’s staying on the mantel year round.

I hope you all have a fantastic time this Horrordaze Season. (I totally stole that from Hockeymom, but only because it is so APT.) And may Santa fill your stockings with yarn and roving.

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