Little Miss Drama Pants

a hot asiany mess

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Miami Without Too Much of The Vice

Last week this time I was in the car with B on the way to Atlanta to go to Miami to see one of my oldest and dearest friends get married. She’s more like a little sister, really. Anyway, the wedding was amazing and we had a blast hanging out. But you guys, that’s not what I want to talk to you about. That’s not my story.

What I want to tell you about is how much I love Miami. I know it’s probably because I don’t live there (because honestly? That 55 MPH speed limit on the HIGHWAY would fucking kill. me. ded. and traffic is a nightmare to boot.) and because instead of being below zero it was SIXTY EIGHT DEGREES OUTSIDE! And also there were palm trees everywhere. And the OCEAN! And THE BEACH!

The week prior, I had to go to the upper west coast for work. Where there was TOO MUCH SNOW. And also it was cold. Stupid cold.

I can’t tell you how great it was to go from this cold hell:

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To this warm paradise:

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Seriously, you guys. I went from west coast freezing my ass off one week to running around in short sleeves on the southern most east coast the next week. Hanging out with childhood friends. Eating wedding cake. The BEST wedding cake ever. Seriously. It was dulce de leche marble cake. Well, the layer that I got a piece from was dulcet de leche marble cake and it was AWESOME. The other layer was guava, I think.

You know what else is awesome about Miami?

This place:

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OK, so technically the Mai Kai is in Ft. Lauderdale, but whatever. It is still awesome. For serious. They had great food and a fantastic show. How fantastic? Well, let me put it this way. I ordered chicken panang. It was some of the best panang I’ve ever eaten. But when the show started about 5 or 10 minutes after I got my food? I couldn’t eat because I was too busy watching the show. That’s how fantastic. These are a few of my favorite pictures from that night.

I cannot even tell you how much of a boon it was to see the sun in the middle of a dreary, cold winter. It did me a world of good.

The only thing that was disappointing about the whole trip (I mean aside from having to leave Miami, obviously) is that I didn’t see David Caruso and his sunglasses keeping the streets of Miami safe. Not even once.

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31

I turned 31 yesterday. I celebrated by getting a drum carder last Saturday, giving a work table a makeover, downloading Storm Force narrated by James Marsters on Tuesday and going to see Harry Pottery on my actual birthday. (I had them arrange the movie opening on my birthday. You’re welcome.)

And for your entertainment, I am going to post some pictures I found.

1st Birthday

I Wish This Was My Pony
Cowgirl Close Up
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So the first picture is from my first birthday when I was as bald as the day I was born. My dad was so upset by this, he threatened to buy me a wig for my 2nd birthday if I didn’t grow some hair. I grew some hair.

The pony photoshoot…I’m not really sure what’s going on there. I think this was my Uncle Frank and Aunt Maxine’s pony and I think this might be at their house. But I have no idea where the outfit came from, why I’m not wearing a shirt or who took the pictures. But this probably has a lot to do with why I want a pony.

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Three for One Deal

When I was a kid, I spent a good portion of my time reading until my parents kicked me out of the house to play or a friend would come over and drag me outside. I loved playing outside, but if I got wrapped up in a book, I often wouldn’t put it down until I was hungry or fell asleep. However, I also used to play “games” by myself. One of them was to pretend I was from the past, the future, or another world (sci fi geek from the cradle) and walk around the house and look at everything as if I had never seen it before. I would try to imagine what it would be like to see doors and handles and microwaves and TVs for the very first time without knowing what they were.

If my sister was out and about while I was “playing” this “game” I would act like I didn’t know who she was and/or I didn’t understand anything she was saying. This served two purposes: 1) to irritate the shit out of her and 2) to not break from the game. Of course, I wouldn’t tell her what I was doing.

I started back to school this semester and I’m taking one class. Anthropology 101. Since taking on this class, I’ve realized that I spent a good chunk of my life practicing anthropology in some form or another. My professor claimed that it would take more than one class for us to think like anthropologists. I think this might be true for someone born and raised and bred from generations of Americans living in the US. It’s not true for me.

Most people grow up interacting in only one culture. I grew up with three. And not just three cultures, but three cultures that couldn’t possibly collide more. My dad is a caucasian American male. My mom is South Korean. She was born and raised in Seoul. My parents married and ended up raising me in Saudi Arabia. I grew up in a predominantly Western culture with strong influences from the Far and Middle East. My mother refused to let my sister and me grow up ignorant of half our birthright. We spent many summers in Korea visiting relatives and/or attending summer camps that taught us about the history of Korea.

Growing up in Saudi Arabia, how we interacted outside of our house and our compound (think: walled and gated city inside a city) was vastly different from how we interacted inside our house and/or compound. How we dressed, who we talked to and even what we said was very important to not draw negative attention from the Mutawa (religious police) and cost our dad his job and/or get him landed in jail and/or the family deported.

It sounds like a lot to take on all at once, I guess. This was my norm. It’s just what I did to get through the day. To me, this was normal. Everyone did it. Some better than others, but everyone did it. Even the part about growing up in two or three different cultures. I grew up with a rather large number of kids who were from bi-racial homes. (To me, biracial means caucasian and asian.) My best friend in the entire world is half American and half Thai. A lot of my friends were half American and half Vietnamese. There were other kids at school who were half American and half Korean. There were other kids of mixed races as well. We were the norm. A lot of the other caucasian kids were European. Therefore, most of the full-blooded American kids were considered the minority. There was no animosity towards them, they were just not the vast majority.

So imagine my shock of coming to the States were almost everyone seemed to be 100% white. Where you were free to talk about religion openly in public and even disagree with others about it and no one would haul you off to jail. You could talk politics and no one would charge you with treason. Women wore shorts and tank tops in public! Sometimes all at once! Women were driving cars! It was very bizarre.

Especially the part where there were actual seasons: fall, winter, spring, summer. I grew up knowing only summer intimately. The other seasons were what happened in books and other parts of the world. I understood them in theory, but had no frame of reference to understand them as a reality. My dad found it particularly hilarious when I called him freaking out and almost hysterical because it was cold outside. ALL DAY LONG. What is this madness? I was ready to go home right then. Forget living in the States where it is cold! in winter! This is for the birds. At home, my winters were spent swimming at the pool or going to the Red Sea to spend the day out there snorkeling and eating hot dogs in the sand. Christmas is supposed to be spent at the beach with friends and family! Swimming! Getting tan! Avoiding the Coast Guard! Not huddling up for warmth in eleventy million layers of clothing and thinking that the sun will never shine again! American are MAD to think that this is FUN and SING SONGS ABOUT IT LIKE IT’S THE GREATEST THING ON EARTH.

Ahem. I still don’t like the cold. It’s something I’ve never really gotten over. Nor do I think I should.

Anyway, these are just some of the things I’ve been thinking about since taking this class.

Oh and since everyone always like a picture, here’s a picture of me and my friend Keesh from high school. We went to boarding school together in Columbia, SC. And that is a whole other post. We were both foreigners in a strange land. The only difference was, I already knew the host country’s language.

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Jeddah

One of the yahoo groups I belong to is a collection of people you went to PCS (Parents Cooperative School) in Jeddah where I grew up. One of them came across this video. I have no idea who the rap artist(?) is, but the pictures are all pictures from my childhood. That alone is worth watching it over and over.


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Water

I am a water baby. I would rather be submerged in a clear body of water than anywhere else on almost any given day. Pool, ocean, lake, sea, whatever. According to my mom, I have been like this ever since I was very little. Possibly before I could walk.

It was very handy, then, that we grew up on a compound with strategically placed rec centers that had swimming pools where we could go swimming all day up until 9:00 at night, sometimes even 10:00 p.m. It was a great way for us to be entertained and wear our butts out so my mom could get a little rest in the evenings.

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I’m pretty sure this was the kiddie pool. My mom couldn’t swim when we were little so she would go and sit in the kiddie pool with us while we splashed around. She wouldn’t let us swim in the big pool until we figured out how to swim on our own. Once we could swim in the big pool, she decided she needed to learn how to swim.

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It also didn’t hurt that we lived on the Red Sea. We had a cabin that we shared with several other families on the Red Sea. It was part of a private beach with a gated entrance. There was a really long pier that went out to deep water where boats could pull up, and all along this pier, there were cabins attached with short walkways to the pier and also a ladder that went straight down to the shallow water. Before my sister and I got into playing sports and ballet (Naomi), we spent most of our weekends at the cabin. There was more often than not, a decent sized group at the cabin. Though sometimes it would just be our family and then whatever friends my parents would let us bring with us. We had a lot of good times at the cabin.

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Carmen and Arisa. I miss them.

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Mom grilling burgers & dogs.

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Naomi holding Carmen & Arisa’s dad’s hand and Mom on the pier. Once again wearing those kick ass shoes.

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This is my dad’s SunFish. (That’s not my dad. That’s Mr. Quinn and his oldest daughter, who’s name escapes me at the moment. You would think I would remember her name. She taught me how to swim properly. ETA: Teresa! Her name was Teresa. Thanks Naoms.) The SunFish was his pride and joy until that one time he took my mom and me out in it. It was really windy and there were a lot of motor boats out and the water was incredibly choppy. We capsized, of course. It also didn’t help that there had been great whites (sharks) sighted that day, my mom was a poor swimmer, and her nose started bleeding. I started to panic a little, when my mom’s nose started bleeding. (I think I was in 5th grade at the time.) I made her swim with me to a rock that was part of the Corniche next to the main road (and clear on the other side of where the cabins were). We waited there until my dad could come pick us up in the Blazer. My mom made him sell the boat after that because she lost her sunglasses. You’ve got to have your priorities, I guess.

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If you look behind me in this picture, you can see a white fuzzy line. That would be where my mom and I were sitting waiting for my dad to pick us up.

Sometimes we would just go out on the beach and kind of set up camp and play all day and occasionally even spend the night on the beach. I don’t remember if we didn’t have the cabin at the time or if it was just something we did anyway. Camping on the beach was my favorite because we’d always have a giant bonfire and we could throw just about anything into it. That was awesome. So was laying in the sand at night and seeing all the stars. I’ve never been anywhere else in the world where you could see so many stars at night. There were no lights other than our bonfire on the beach. We’d sleep in the back of the car and there’s be 3 or 4 of us laid out and talking and giggling until we passed out. It was awesome.

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That would be my butt sticking up behind the chair. Typical.

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One of our favorite things to do was to build racetracks in the sand and then collect all the hermit crabs we could find on the beach and put them inside the racetrack. The racetrack would always have walls that we thought the hermit crabs wouldn’t be able to climb. We’d drop the hermit crabs on the “starting line” and then wait for them to come out of their shells. We’d get bored waiting on them before they’d come out, find something else to do, and leave them alone for hours. When we’d remember to check on our “racing” hermit crabs, we were always surprised to find them gone.

The other thing about the Red Sea in Jeddah is that the Saudis built the Corniche. It is a man-made waterfront promenade that the main road runs by. There are walkways, beaches, playgrounds, gazebos, sculptures, etc. It was a place where you could spend time by the water, but not get in it. Getting in the water on the Corniche would be haram because it was in public and that was considered indecent and/or immoral because of the nature of bathing suits. Swimming was done on the private beaches only. By private beach, I mean a stretch of beach that would be literally surrounded by walls up to the water. All the major hotels had private beaches, and so did the place where our cabin was. There were several different places like that, too. I don’t know of anywhere else in the world where they do that.

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Me on the Corniche doing my Fantasia impression.

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The Valiant Years

My grandfather was a barber and whenever we would go to the States, he would cut our hair. Grandpa was not a stylist, he was a barber, so we always had the same haircut no matter what. The Prince Valiant haircut. This haircut lasted for a good many years.

On our compound in Jeddah, we had many recreational centers (the Rec) that were pretty grand. They generally comprised of a pool, playground and at least 2 tennis courts. Some of the bigger ones had a basketball/volleyball court as well. The biggest one had two adult pools and one baby pool. The basketball/volleyball courts also served as a “roller rink” of sorts. It was a roller rink in the sense that we would go and roller skate there. Some of my favorite memories of my childhood are Roller Disco.

Every Wednesday night (which was our Friday. In Saudi, Saturday = Monday. Thursday and Friday were the weekend.) there was Roller Disco. Imagine a ton of kids ranging from 4 or 5 all the way up to 13 or 14 roller skating together. There was a boom box playing tunes and there was a family there that had a snow cone machine set up and you could get a snow cone for less than 5 SR (5 SR = $1.05 ish). There were also homemade suckers you could buy that were SO good.

Anyway, there would be free skate time, games and just a general good time to be had. If you got tired of skating, there was always the playground to run around on.

I don’t have pictures of Roller Disco, but I do have pictures of me skating around during the day in the place where Roller Disco was. I’m still uploading pictures, so hopefully I’ll come across some pictures from Roller Disco. I honestly don’t know if there are any.

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And yes, I am wearing a Superman Underoos top tucked into red pants. In my defense, I’m pretty sure I wasn’t dressing myself at that time. Those are apartment buildings in the background. We lived in one of those buildings until I was in 2nd grade.

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As you can see here, my mom is sporting the shorter version of the Prince Valiant haircut.

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This is possibly my most favorite picture of my sister ever.

So, imagine tons of kids and some parents, it’s night time, there are flood lights that are similar to the kind you see at baseball fields lighting the Roller Disco, 80s music blaring and lots and lots of skating. Good times.

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Memories

A long while back, my dad put a bunch of my childhood pictures on 3 separate CDs for me so I would have them for all time, or until the CDs broke. He scanned photographs, negatives and slides for me. I’m eternally grateful for that effort he made.

I’ve had a blog post swirling around in my head a little about my childhood and bringing to the masses. Partly for me and partly because I have quite a few friends who know intellectually that I grew up overseas in “the desert” but they have no concept of what that was like and pictures help make it a little more concrete. By that same token, I must say that I have no concept of what constitutes a “normal” childhood growing up in the US and A.

So, about my “desert” upbringing. Most people think of sweeping dunes of sand, an occasional cactus or palm tree and maybe a lone coyote when you say desert. There were deserts like that in my childhood – minus the coyote, but a lot of it was also very rocky and mountainous, as in mountains of rock, not sand. Like this:

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Also, that is in fact some type of structure remnant that someone built hundreds of years ago, maybe. Or maybe just 50 years ago, but the sand storms and what not make it look older. I don’t know, but I’m thinking it is maybe a little older than 50 years. Anyway, this picture was taken from the side of the road circa early 80s. It probably looks a lot like that now, except with more litter, I imagine. Also, that was not my house. And no, I did not live in a tent or ride a camel to school, even though I would tell people that when I would visit the States because it was fun to mess with people. You should see how people freak out when you ask if electricity is a kind of food. Heh…

Anyway, I’m in the process of uploading all my childhood pictures and then I will probably do a series of posts about my childhood. You will probably be tired of seeing pictures looooooong before I will, but this is my blog and I will self-indulge. I will also publicly embarrass my sister with pictures of her, too. I’ve noticed that my mom had a penchant for dressing her as either a gay cowboy or a transvestite sailor. There are also pictures that prove that at one time, she could tan.

To be fair, I’m sure I’ve got pictures from the Big Perm Debacle in which I look like the Little Orphan Asian Annie was crossbred with a poodle, my fashion “sense” of the 80s (both the words “fashion” and “sense” are used very loosely), and the one time I thought it would be a good idea to wear my pink lacey play dress to school for school pictures that one year in elementary school. I don’t recall right now what year it was, but I know I was old enough to know better, but wore it anyway.

And more, oh so much more.


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Sensory Recall?

You know how sometimes the smell of something in the air makes you recall an old memory or reminds you of a place? Or a sound? Or something someone says? How does that work with the brain? Why does it make you remember a specific memory? Why not several different memories?

But me? I am, perhaps, what you might call…weird. Today, it was the way my feet feel in my shoes that took me back to the one time one of the times I fell in the shower.

I was living with my parents at the time. I think I was a sophomore in college. I had come home from refereeing a volleyball game at the YMCA and felt like I was coming down with something. I was definitely feeling a little feverish so I decided to hop in the shower thinking that hot water would feel really good.

Let me back up just a little. We were living in a 2 bedroom condo at the time. My parents were both in the living room. My dad was watching tv and my mom was reading. When I came in I told them I didn’t feel good and I was going to hop in the shower.

So, I hopped into the shower (well, really more like feebly climb into the shower) and started to wash my hair. As I’m rinsing the shampoo out of my hair, I close my eyes, lose my balance and fall. I won’t lie. It wasn’t graceful at all. There was a lot of wild flailing and contorting that would have made anyone in Cirque du Soleil green with envy. I grabbed at anything and everything to try to stop my fall. It was a losing battle all the way down.

Tub: 1

Me: 0

My parents heard me falling and the following conversation proceeded in the living room while I was trying to figure out if I’d broken anything:

Mom: What was that?

Dad: I think she fell.

Mom: Maybe you should go check on her.

Dad: [blank look] Um, shouldn’t you go check on her? I don’t think she’ll want me in there while she’s in the shower.

Mom: [blank look]

I think in the end, my mom came and checked on me. Amazingly enough, I didn’t break any of my bones and the tub was just fine. Porcelain bastard.

What I can’t figure out is what on earth does that memory have to do with the way my feet feel in my shoes? Because (and this is just between you and me), I don’t wear shoes in the shower.

psssst! over here! I have actually been doing a little spinning, but haven’t photographed it because you’ve already seen it. I finished spinning the rest of the pink/black/white roving. I’ve also started on the second sock for B and I’ve still got to get some 24″ size 9 circulars before I can finish Shanon’s hat. Maybe I’ll take pictures one day soon, but don’t hold your breath just yet.

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