Sometimes Saving Money is BAD

Now I know you’re thinking that I’ve COMPLETELY lost it, and I have, but that is SO beside the point. Well, a little. ANYWAY, sometimes we do things to save a little bit of money because saving money is good right? Usually, but not always.

Case in point:

I decided it would be a good idea to spent approx $6 on dog shampoo yesterday (plus approx $4 on a rawhide and approx another $4 on pupperoni ~ it was buy 1 get 1 free!). I thought it would be a good idea to wash my sweet Bear BY MYSELF. That’s the part where I completely lost it, but I digress.

I waited until after the grueling walk with April. (We changed our route, and it was good ~ in a "seroiusly kicked my ass" kind of a way.)

I figure that Bear would be tired and compliant because we’d just ran and walked and had been gone for over an hour. Plus, he did this totally cute thing where we’d come upon some monkey grass and then he’d lay down and wallow in it. TOO. CUTE. Of course, I didn’t have a camera with me, so you’ll just have to picture this on your own. SO. SO. CUTE. Anyway, we got home, he drank tons of water and then I lured him into the bathroom with pupperoni. See how I justify? I’m an expert.

ANYHOO, once lured into the bathroom, I had to physically pick him up and put him in the tub, because throwing pupperoni in the tub didn’t work. He didn’t buy it. I can’t for the life of me figure out why.

I actually ended up picking him up and putting him in the tub. TWICE. Let’s think on this for a minute. Bear is a chow mix weighing in the neighborhood of 60 – 65 lbs. Plus, he’s really furry. This probably adds some more weight. At least 10 lbs. Don’t believe me? You should the hair I’ve brushed off him. Seriously. Then there’s me. I am 5’2" and weigh 135 lbs. When Bear stands on his back legs, he’s almost as tall as me. Not really, but it seems like it. Ok, so he weighs as much as a small child, but when you’re picking up a kid, they’re usually working with you, you know? Not my dog. Picking him up is like picking up dead weight.

I started out by putting him in the tub and just running the water. Cold water, I might add, so that he would get used to the idea. Just work with me, ok? I know I’m crazy. I’m just trying to prove it. So, back to the story, he’s not terribly happy about it, but he’s not jumping out. Yet. But then I start to put some of the water on him. Happy dog? NO.

In the end, I ended up having to strip down and get in the tub with my dog and turn on the shower. I had to use every body blocking technique known to man to keep him in the tub AND shampoo his 2000+ parts. This took roughly an hour. Then I let him out of the tub to spray the ENTIRE bathroom with water and more fur. While he did that, I cleaned enough fur out of thet ub to clothe an entire nation, after the spinning/weaving/creating of clothing with said fur. Then I needed a bath.

Can I just say that I have not slept that hard in a very long time. Nor has it been so hard to get up in the morning, either! But the bath time saga does not end with last night. Oh no, that would be….not my life. Anyway, this morning wen I finally drug myself out of bed, I found that Bear needed yet MORE brushing. MORE. BRUSHING. The pile of hair I brushed off that dog of mine was roughly the size of a rabbit…..or two.

Anyway, despite the entire ordeal, I cannot, for the life of me, figure out WHY THAT DAMN DOG WAS WHINING SO MUCH LAST NIGHT. [Please note sarcasm dripping from screen.]

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