Signs You Might Live with a Guy

I noticed this little arrangement of things this morning on my way out the door. I had to stop and take pictures. That blue bowl full of condoms was most certainly not on the table last night when I went over to B’s, so it happened at some point while I was gone. I missed it when I came home last night. I wish I had been there when my sister and my roommate were discussing setting out a bowl of condoms out in the living room and the exact placement in the room where it would best serve…us? Visitors?

OH SHIT. CUSTOMERS?

Of course, there is always the chance that he put these out after she went to bed. And yet, something leads me to believe that she was at least aware of the onion. Mostly because the vase and the onion were in the kitchen, and I know for a fact that my sister spends a good amount of time in the kitchen with Mykie. I know this because whenever I accidentally venture into the kitchen while they’re there, they ask me if I’m lost. Usually, my answer is, “Yes.”

So let’s recap. There is an onion sprouting quite the large shoot sitting in a very expensive crystal vase on a coffee table in my living room:

still life with onion and cat

AND there is a very large bowl full of condoms in the living room as well. You know, I suppose it could fall under that whole etiquette thing where you’re supposed to offer dinner guests something refreshing after dinner: “Would you like a mint? Chocolate? Condom?” I suppose when you look at it that way, it kind of makes sense.

putting a new twist on the after dinner mint

Notice that he didn’t just dump the box in the bowl. Oh no. He separated each little package and then arranged them neatly in a spiral motif inside the bowl. They kind of make me think of saltine crackers.

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