Last night at Chez Crazy:
A retirement commercial with Dennis Hopper as the spokesperson is on the tv.
Sister: Do you know who that it is?
Me: King Koopa?
Sister: Yes!
And then we laughed. A lot. And possibly a little hysterically.
And this is where I divulge my love of bad movies. Really bad movies. Movies that have no business being made. Apparently.
Back in the day (1993), someone thought it would be a good idea to make Super Mario Bros. into a movie. Well, it’s more like a movie based on the game. But still.
[first lines]
Narrator: A long long time ago, the Earth was ruled by dinosaurs. They were big, so not a lot of people went around hassing ‘em. Actually, no people went around hassling ‘em cuz there weren’t any people yet. Just the first tiny mammals. Basically, life was good. Then something happened: a giant meteorite struck the Earth. Goodbye dinosaurs! But what if the dinosaurs weren’t all destroyed? What if the impact of that meteor created a parallel dimension where the dinosaurs continued to thrive and evolve into intelligent, vicious, and aggressive beings… just like us? And hey, what if they found a way back?
I love this movie. John Leguizamo played Luigi and I remember thinking that he was so hot. Who am I kidding? I still think he’s hot. I also thought he was tall because Bob Hoskins played Mario.
Ahem. Moving on.
There were a LOT of cheesy lines in the movie like this:
Luigi: Wow, you mean there were dinosaurs here in Brooklyn?
Mario: Relax, Luigi. There used to be Dodgers here too.
and this:
[Mario and Luigi survey Dinohattan]
Mario Mario: This can’t be Manhattan.
Luigi Mario: I don’t know, I haven’t been to Manhattan in a couple weeks.
Mario Mario: Must have been a bad couple of weeks.
A lot of cheese, but still funny. And Dennis Hopper is always a great bad guy.
Cop: Nobody touches President Koopa.
Luigi: [Rubbing his eyes in pain] But he said he was…
King Koopa: -One evil, egg sucking son of a snake. Did I lie?
I gotta say, if you want to watch a cheesy movie based on a video game, watch this one.
I ain’t gotta, and I ain’t gonna, and you can’t make me! I think I lost IQ points just reading this post.
Elizabeth has no sense of cheesy classics. I thought this was a beautiful post. The movie is a classic. It brings tears to my eyes. I also love that we both recognized King Koopa on TV. Beautiful [sniff, sigh].
I love bad movies. Grace, do yourself and your house mates a favor and rent “Nude On The Moon”. Trust me, you have never laughed so hard as you will laugh while watching this one.
I don’t know which says more, that you love that movie, or that John Leguizamo is hot.
What? What’s wrong with thinking John Leguizamo is hot?
Nothing! John Leguizmo IS hot!
Okay Okay! I admit it. I watched the movie. Not for the game, but for John Leguizamo. No, he’s not a resident of La’s Hump Island, but he’s funny as hell. And, through him, the Dh’s peeps have a voice!
Okay, but he’s realy funny