Memories

My 10 year high school reunion is next weekend. Thanks to the marvels of modern technology, I’ve been getting back in touch with classmates, reminiscing online and making plans for the weekend.

I was a little apprehensive about returning to my high school since I don’t hold a lot of the same views as the school does. Once again, let me back up a little. I went to a Christian boarding school. Being that I grew up in a foreign country where the school system ended after the 9th grade and my parents weren’t planning on moving, my option was boarding school. The school where I ended up was not a parochial school, but damn close enough.

Despite the fact that I was both a nerd and a jock, I tended to get into trouble because, well, I’m not really sure why. Maybe because I didn’t fit their mold of what a "good" girl should be and do, or because I had a boyfriend I was at a higher risk of becoming pregnant. Maybe it was because I was different in both looks and upbringing. I don’t know. It could even have been because they mistakenly thought I had been sent to boarding school because my parents didn’t know how to handle me and so I needed extra "guidance" or discipline. Who knows.

Again, I didn’t and still don’t hold the same beliefs as they did. My beliefs in high school might have been closer to what they were preaching back then, but they’re quite different now. In most all aspects.

While some of my friends from high school and I have recently gotten back in touch and find that we have more in common than just being in the same class, there are a lot of my classmates who still believe in what our high school preached.

I tend to be non-confrontational unless you back me into a corner. I don’t like conflict (brings up bad memories from my childhood) and I prefer to live in peace and harmony with other humans. I HATE drama. Unless I’m with my friends who understand, appreciate and are open-minded, I avoid getting in discussions with most people about my beliefs or my political leanings. Religion and politics are such hot topics with most people and tend to lead to heated discussions, fighting, and general bad behavior. I personally don’t see why there is a need to get riled up about it all.

You believe what you believe and I’ll believe what I believe. If they’re similar, great. If they’re not, pay me the same respect I’m willing to pay you. Simply agree to disagree. Don’t feel the need to preach your message to me in an effort to convert me over to your side. Because if you start preaching, I can guarantee that I’m not listening. I’m willing to try to see your point of view, even if it wildly opposite of mine. That doesn’t mean I’m going to agree with you. I just want to understand your perspective better. I find that when I do that, it tends to give me a more well-rounded view on the subject at hand.

Anyway, the point to all of this is that I’m going to endure those usual questions:

Are you married? Do you have kids?

To which the answers are both no. However, the last time I went to Homecoming, I scandalized several classmates by telling them that I lived with my boyfriend at the time, we weren’t contemplating marriage in the immediate or near future and I had no desire to have children. You would’ve thought I’d told them I was a disciple of Satan, their shock was so great.

This time around, I’ll scandalize them further with being divorced. I’m tempted to tell them I’m a lesbian just to make them pee their pants or stage an intervention, but B’s going with me and I don’t think they’ll believe the lesbian part when my boyfriend’s in tow.

Now, I have to admit, there was a part of me that loved shocking their pants off. But there was also a part of me that hated that they were judging me. Then again, I don’t know anyone who likes to be judged. At least, not in that way.

And herein lies my problem with people who call themselves Christians: You preach one message and yet your actions show you to act in a way that is the opposite of the message that you preach. Christ talked about love and acceptance and not judging. I went to a Christian school that kicked out problem kids and judged you harshly by your appearance and I don’t think they really knew what love is. I did not see love in their actions. Self-righteousness? Definitely.

And I don’t expect everyone to act "Christ-like" 100% of the time. For crying out loud, we’re human. I know I’ve made the mistake of judging someone initially on appearance, and I’ve eaten crow for it, too. But I’m not afraid to say I’ve made a mistake, learn from my lesson and open my eyes a little more. Be more tolerant of others.

And I suppose that’s what I’m hoping in the end, that the ones that don’t see things the same way I do will be more tolerant, but I won’t be holding my breath. And as for my friends that I really do want to see? Well, I know we’re going to have a rockin’ good time. Bring it.

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