I’m going to reveal something to you that, I think, you’ll probably never be ready to see, but I’m going to expose myself to you anyway.
Sometimes, when I’m composing a post in my head, you (Johnny Q. Public) get inside my head and refute everything I’m trying to say. Seriously. Sometimes it’s kind of annoying. Especially when I lose to you in my head. (And I just want you to know that you’re always in my head. Creepy, I know, but you won’t leave.)
Me: So, despite the lack of evidence on this here blog, I really have been knitting.
You: Yeah. Right. You just like to stick pictures of yourself on the internets and parade around like you’re some knitter, but we know you’re a floozy fake.
Me: No! Really! I have a scarf on the needles as we speak! It’s grey and black and…
You: [bored yawn] whatever.
Me: Seriously! I’m even using the Yarn Harlot’s pattern! It’s yarn that I bought a while back and thought I was going to make a hat out of, but decided to use it for Gopi’s scarf. Baby Ull by Dale Yarn. Seriously. It’s good stuff. I’m, like, 2/3 of the way done!
You: Seeing is believing baby and we’re not seeing anything.
Me: I just haven’t had a chance to take a picture yet. Besides, I WENT TO SAFF!!!! I even took the scarf with me! I even knitted on it a little bit while I was there! I have witnesses, I swear!
You: Sure, you do. You took pictures of other people knitting and spinning, but did you do any of that? No. You just bought yourself an expensive pet and some roving and yarn, but we know you’re not going to do anything with it. I don’t see anyone else in the knitblog circles with a picture of you knitting anything. Or spindling. Or spinning.
Me: That’s not true! I have plans for all that stuff! Plus, Sugar Ray is a pet AND a fiber producer. I just have to figure out a way to harvest his yarn without him peeing on me, that’s all. [In my head's head: I shouldn't have said that.]
You: You’re such a loser. Your own rabbit knows it and peed on you. What about that spindle you bought, oh, months ago. we’ve never seen you do a damn thing with it.
Me: I know, but that’s because I didn’t understand the instructions! I finally figured out how to use it after watching Elizabeth spin! Plus, There are pictures of me spinning on the Ashford wheel. Ginny took them! She just hasn’t sent them to me yet. And I’ve actually been spindling with my own spindle. I swear! There’s yarn on my spindle right now as we speak!
You: And where are the pictures? The proof is in the pictures in blogland. You know that. It’s almost the first rule of blogging.
Me: …..
You: That’s what I thought.
I have faith. Don’t let those voices get you down.
OK, your voices are way more synical than my voices.
haha. Rules are for Tools. Besides, if you let JQP have pictures too often, he’s expecting them EVERY post. You gotta give the public discipline. Claudia might have pictorial evidence of you knitting something, though. Check her Flickr.
The spindle in your banner picture is GORGEOUS. You should send it to me.
You: Well, are you going to comment or just stare at the keyboard?
Me: I should be getting back to finding a job but I’m too busy laughing at my pretend Internet friend’s blog post. Holy crap she’s funny!
You: I bet you wish you were that witty.
Me: You bet your sweet bippy I do.
You: Aren’t you supposed to be working?
Me: … Isn’t Grace cute?!
You: That’s what I thought.
who the hell cares if you knit … just post blogs they’re entertainment enough. knitting is for sissies anyway.
And THAT is exactly why I love you, you make me feel sane.
Oh, tell Sugar Ray that I would probably pee too if someone yanked MY hair out and not to feel bad. Why don’t you just trim him with some sissors.
dude……you yank Sugar Ray’s hair out? I’m surprised that ALL he’s done is peed on you!
By the way, UofL was playing an awesome game last night….sorry I missed your call….didn’t hear it over the screaming around me. It was scary, kind of….BUT we won…so it was worth it.