So on Monday, I decided to wear a pair of my favorite shoes. They’re a pair of brown, stacked-heel maryjanes. I normally wouldn’t have worn them on a Monday because I have class after work and I don’t care to do a whole lot of walking in those shoes, but for work, they’re fine. And I didn’t have class Monday because it’s FINALS WEEK and so no class. Just a final.
TODAY.
I AM NOT PANICKING ABOUT MY FINAL.
TODAY.
Really.
I WILL BE FINE.
Anyway.
Monday.
I ended up doing a lot of walking Monday at work because that’s how the day turned out. I plan on not walking more than normal so therefore I do. My feet hurt quite a bit and I got a cramp in my right foot. Or so I thought. It started in the afternoon. By the time I got home, it was horrible. I couldn’t put any pressure on my foot and the “cramp” wasn’t going away no matter what I did.
Yesterday when I got up, it felt all right for about 5 steps and then, guess what! Excruciation pain! First! thing! in! the! morning! FUN! So I hobbled around and went to work.
What? I had shit to do.
The drive to work was fine, no biggie. But that wasn’t the fun part. The really fun part was walking the two blocks from the parking deck to my office. I was nearly in tears by the time I made it to my chair. I have never loved my office chair more than I loved it yesterday. Truly.
I did my best to NOT MOVE FROM THE CHAIR as much as possible. CHAIR GOOD. But you know how that goes. Best laid plans will FUCK YOU AND THEN LAUGH UNCONTROLLABLY. By about half way through the day yesterday, I was fairly well convinced that maybe I broke my foot. (Because being almost in tears from walking two blocks earlier in the day was not convincing enough. Apparently. I am stubborn in my delusions. I stick to my story. Like OJ.)
Around 3:30 I finally caved and figured I should maybe call the doctor, any doctor, and see about getting an appointment. Pronto. Turns out? I wasn’t getting in to see anybody until around February. Somehow, this just didn’t appeal to me. So instead, I got B to come pick me up from work after 5 and take me to the ER. I was willing to wait however long it would take so long as someone would look at my foot and make it better. Or at least tell me what was wrong. Amazingly enough, I was the only one there far as I could tell when we showed up and we were only there for about 2 hours, give or take. This is the equivalent of well, I don’t know what, but for being in an ER, this was relatively fast.
The diagnosis? Well, I did not break any bones, but apparently I have strained the muscles in my right foot. FROM WALKING. This, people, takes real skill. Finesse. Not just anyone can pull off a maneuver like this. (I am an expert. Do not try this at home.) So I will be hobbling around on crutches for the next 5 days and praying to anyone and anything that will listen that I do not fall down and break something for real. Because nothing says I Am Cool like breaking a bone from losing your balance while hobbling around on crutches that you needed when you strained your foot from WALKING.
As it is, this is probably how every conversation about my foot is going to go:
How’d you hurt your foot?
I was walking.
And then what?
No. That’s it. I was walking.
Don’t you wish you were cool like me?
Ugh. Time to say goodbye to those shoes, however cute. You’re lucky that December’s decided to be summer; at least you’re not likely to get any ice to slip on.
Oy. If your anything like me – be careful with those crutches – or you just may end up with something broken. I’m much better with the one foot hop than crutches
O.K. I hate to laugh, I really, really do….but OH MY!!!!!!!! I am so sorry you are having to deal with the crutches…that has got to be a major hassle!!!
I’ve done something similar to myself, the night I decided that it would be cool to walk from the Upper West Side of Manhattan all the way down to and across the Brooklyn Bridge. In Tevas. Which are comfortable, but dude? Not meant for that much walking.
Nobody gave me crutches, though. My hospital must be staffed by hacks.
I hope you told them you have a low tolerance for pain, but a high tolerance for pain killers.
If it makes you feel any better, I once dislocated my knee by standing up from the couch…….yep.
I was gonna vote for plantar fascitis, especially with the morning pain. So sorry. You’ll be fine on the crutches, just don’t overthink what you’re doing. I got through 8 weeks on crutches with my stairs and never fell. I highly recommend going down all stairs on your bottom. It really amuses the neighbors.
That was a rather entertaining read, I have done the same thing. Anytime I wear awesome shoes, we have a fire drill, my office is on the nineth floor, when I get back to my desk I feel like a ballerina, bleeding toes and heels, arches that seem to be stiched together with sewing thread.
BTW I love the devil hat!
I’ll have to blog about my dog drama, it is a hoot.
yeouch. geez, girl. I have gotten serious, deep blisters, worn off vast swaths of skin, and had my feet swollen to sasquatch proportions from walking, but never had THAT happen. that takes some SERIOUS SKILZ!
feel better
I always said walking is for chumps. Nobody ever listens to me.
I suck at walking. Personally, I like to half-skip around, like a dog with three legs.