It is amazing how quickly you can become attached to someone you haven’t even met when you are growing a baby. Especially when with no warning, you’re not.
Monday morning I went in for routine blood work to check my levels and make sure everything was progressing normally. My appointment was at 7:30 a.m., so when 3:00 p.m. rolled around and I hadn’t heard from them, I started to get worried. Then I decided it probably was just a typical Monday and they were running a little behind.
I really should pay more attention to my instincts.
When I finally got the call, it was not good news. My progesterone had dropped from 31 to 9. And my hCG had only gone up marginally from 1850 to about 2210. She told me I needed to come in Tuesday for an ultrasound “to see where the pregnancy is and make sure it’s in your uterus.”
Definitely not what you want to hear.
So yesterday morning, I went in for a VAGINAL ULTRASOUND. They looked at my ovaries and they looked at my uterus. What they found was not promising. I have what might be 2 or 3 cysts on my right ovary and nothing in my uterus. It’s unclear if I had a chemical pregnancy, or if I was pregnant and my body absorbed the pregnancy or if I might possibly be having an ectopic pregnancy.
To say that I was devastated would be a gross understatement. It felt like my entire world had just been ripped from the seams in a matter of minutes.
I went in this morning for more blood work and just got the call this afternoon. My numbers are falling back down and are back to where I essentially was Monday before last. So now it’s just a waiting game for my body to let go of what is no longer mine.
I cannot say this enough about my husband: He is a great man and I love him with all my heart. He means the world to me and I could not have made it through my darkest hour yesterday without him there by my side, loving me. He picked up the pieces when I, and then BAD Boy couldn’t hold it together. And even though he had to deal with with his own pain and grief, he stayed strong for us. I can never adequately say or show the depth of my gratitude or love for this man. He is amazing beyond words.
Both my nurse and my OB/GYN reassured me that there is a silver lining in this dark cloud. And that is that I can get pregnant. And that while we may never know why it didn’t take this time, there is a very good chance that we can do it again.
When we’re ready.
In the meantime, my family and I will work on healing.
[New Post] In the Blink of an Eye http://littledramapants.com/?p=4364
*hugs*
Oh, honey, I am so sorry for your loss. Big hugs to all of you. And please, please let me know if there is anything I can do, no matter how big or small. If you need me to bring dinner, a sympathetic ear, coffee and knitting – ANYTHING, just call.
Oh Grace, I’m so sorry. That really blows. If I could buy you a comforting beverage I totally would.
I’m so sorry to hear your news…as an admitted and remorseful lurker I have to finally come out to say that I’ve been following you for a couple of years, with all your ups and downs, and although I don’t know you personally I get a very strong sense that you will make it through this. You’re very fortunate to have such a wonderful and understanding partner…hold tight to that until you feel strong enough to let go. I’ll be sending good vibes your way and perhaps I won’t be such a silent lurker anymore
Be well.
Grace,
My heart goes out to you and your menfolk there. Sharon and I went through the same situation (and worse) and we came out on the other side with three shiny kids. The loss really hurts, I know too well what you and Barron are feeling today. I’m so sorry. I am, however very happy to know that you can indeed become pregnant, beings how not everyone is so lucky. I hope that you get right back on that “horse” pretty soon, so to speak.
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So sorry! {{hugs}} Take care of each other…
Oh, honey, I’m so sorry
Oh Grace! I’m so sorry. ((hugs))
Lots of prayers and love being sent your way. I’m so sorry.
@lilMDP oh no!!! I’m so sorry Grace! Let me know if there is anything I can do. I’ll be thinking of you……..
@keripayne Thanks Keri.
oh Grace, I am so sorry. My heart goes out to you guys. I know you guys will come out on the other side of this with a sweet baby. You guys are in my thoughts.
I’m hurting for you, too. Looking forward to the day when we’re celebrating again. Hugs, Grace.
Hey Grace! My heart goes out to you and your family. I’ve been there my dear. You have a great partner in life at your side. It does make it better. Big hugs to you lady!! I see knitting in your future. Yes lots of knitting. I’d love to get together and knit with you! Send me an email. I have a few friends that meet up at my place and you are welcome to come too! Everything happens for a reason. Find the humor and smiles in the little things, like hey at least you can drink more than just 1 glass of wine again.
Ah, honey. Hugs to all of you.
sorry to hear this…….
stay on the path.
xoxoxoxo
Aw, sweetie, what a mixed bag of emotions you must be having. Hang in there. Hugs.
Noob recently battled something similar (I won’t go into detail here), so if you need anything email me and I’ll see what I can do. Until then, hugs.
Grace you are in my thoughts. I will be praying for your healing and I am so glad that you have such a loving support system. I have read some amazing books on reproductive health if you want some recommendations. I was strongly considering becoming a working doula and i have a friend who is doing some great work. If you want the connection let me know… xoxo
I love you Grace. Please let me know if there is anything that I can do.
Fuck! What is wrong with the universe this week?!? Oh, honey, I am more sorry than I can say. If there is absolutely anything in the world that I can do, tell me and I’ll do it. Sending all the love I have.