Apparently. I have tried twice in as many days to remove two different toes from my right foot using the most cruel and unusual method of Door Jamming.
Door Jamming: Ramming your foot (usually one or more toes are the point of impact) into a door, usually the skinny end, thereby inflicting maximum damage possible.
Some of you may be familiar with this method. It is usually used by the body and/or subconscious when the conscious mind is unaware of the seething hatred that the body and/or subconscious has for a particular part of the….er…..well, body.
Sunday, the middle toe on my right foot was apparently WAY out of line, so the body, well, she smacked that toe right into the skinny side of the bathroom door and showed that toe who was boss. Much to my surprise. And oh, the cussing and jumping around that ensued. Comedy! Drama! I had it all going on. And while the toe turned white and throbbed for some time, the skin stayed intact.
This morning, once again my right foot pissed off the rest of my…self and my pinky toe was subjected to the door jamming torture. This time, I think that maybe, just maybe, my body will be appeased as the resulting injury nearly took the top of my toe off. Even MORE cussing and jumping around ensued. And applying a liquid antiseptic and a band aid? I think I may have invented a few new swear words.
Let me just say that wearing flip flops in 27 degree weather IS. NOT. FUN.
Also, I’d like this egregious form of torture to cease and desist IMMEDIATELY.
BODY AND/OR SUBCONSCIOUS, I THINK YOU’VE MADE YOUR POINT.
Therefore you epitomize the true nature of your name…
Don’t worry, your first name is my middle name for that same reason.
3 words:
steel toed boots
People who regularly smack into door frames have a specific condition with a real name which I am far too lazy to google right now. But supposedly it has something to do your brain having no idea about the actual size of your body and how it relates to objects around it. I guess it’s like a cat whose whiskers got cut off or something. I, too, have the condition and the scars to prove it. Now if someone could explain that “falling up the stairs” thing, I’d be all set.
Proprioceptive Dysfunction. Also look into somatesthesia, the perception that underlies proprioception.
My lovely daughter also regularly walks into door frames, doors, the corner of the table… We tell her to “Be careful.”