I’m pretty sure I’ve lost it completely. Pretty damn sure. Can you have a mid-mid-life crisis? I think maybe that’s what’s happening with me. Or something like that. No, not really. Well, yeah kinda. Maybe.
OK, here’s the deal. I keep asking myself what it is I see myself doing career-wise in the next 5 – 10 – 15 years and it’s not what I’m doing now. So then comes the question, "Well, what do you see yourself doing?" And I think I’ve finally figured it out.
I got my undergraduate degree in Kinesiology/Exercise Science. I loved everything about getting my degree. I loved everything I learned. I ate it up. It was wonderful. I just didn’t like the idea of becoming a personal trainer or opening a fitness center, which is pretty much your options with a B.S. Considering these things, I decided to look into Masters programs in my field and have discovered that there have been major advances in Kinesiology since I graduated in 2000 and I’m now seriously considering pursuing my master’s in Kinesiology with a concentration in Biomechanics. From everything I’ve read about it and the programs I’ve looked at, it seems to be right up my alley.
I have to take the GRE again. That sucks, but I plan on doing that soon. Then there’s applying to sixteen million different programs and trying to get fellowships or assistantships and financial aid. Also, does anyone know of someone who wants to be a sugar daddy? I’m taking applications.
Anyway, there’s also the matter of getting my personal financial situation in better shape so I can feel better about focusing on graduate school and maybe only working part-time so I can go to school full-time. This is where it gets tricky. I plan on applying for next fall so in the meantime, I maybe need to suck it up and maybe move in with my parents for a short period of time. They’d let me live with them rent free (so they keep telling me) and that would free me up to pay off some serious amounts of debt. That would certainly help me be less stressed out about going into even more debt with grad school. Oh yeah, because all the programs I’m looking at? They’re all out of state. I’m looking at MAJOR school loan debt. Go figure.
The biggest deal here is, will I be able to survive it? Will my pride be able to handle it? And I think the answer is, if I want to go into grad school with a clean conscience and minimal previous financial debt, I’m going to have to deal with it. I’m going to have to handle it. Besides, it’s not forever. It’s for a finite amount of time.
Please remind me I said that when I start screaming and flailing my body around in a fit of anger because I live with my parents and they drive me crazy. Somebody remind me of that, ok?
That mid-mid life crisis is called a quarter life crisis.
Yeah, no mid-life crises until you are at least 40. Sheesh.
Just think of it like this: You’ll be a college coed again, and Everybody Knows how much fun that is. (You can even be a *BUG and nobody blinks.)** Think of all the fun you’ll have since you are now like six years wiser than your classmates.
It’ll be grand. Good luck with the sugardaddy thingy.
*BUG = Bi Until Graduation
**Not that there is anything wrong with that, and only if you want to, of course.
Wow, sounds like quite the decision. More power to ya! Where are these colleges you are looking at?
you go girllllll… you’ll make it… don’t worry too much even though i know its hard to feel that way when you face these stumbling blocks. i’m going through something similar right now… i just have this card i keep near my desk that gives me strength and inspiration: ” go to where you want to be, and the resources will follow.” find your passion. pursue it…. and in time… it will bring you fortune, inspiration, love, strength, lessons, etc…
Sending you prayers and love! J
PS. in the meantime, you can pay off that debt by making MAD money on your knits… sell on line through bust and ebay. people would BUY!