I think I might be dying. At least that’s how it feels. If you don’t want to listen to the bitching tune out now….I have horrible cramps, my calves hate me, my hip hurts, my neck and my shoulder hurt and I have nothing to wear in my closet. Ok, tune back in now. I’m done.
Yesterday, in one of those post-lunch afternoon stupors, I read something on a co-worker’s filing cabinet incorrectly, but I like my version better. She has on of those stained glass thingies on top of a short filing cabinet and it said something like "cherish yesterday" blah blah blah, but I read it as "cherish yiddish." Much more funny, don’t you think? So, I relayed this pertinent information to April when we were walking yesterday and she came up with a BRILLIANT idea. Absolutely brilliant. What if we were to come up with a calendar and every day it would have a phrase like "cherish yiddish" where you had misread or misunderstood something. Something like:
Or maybe it would be funnier to just put the misinterpreted quote
.Because sometimes a joke isn’t funny when you have to explain it.
Yeah, I don’t know. Thoughts, anyone? It’s kind of Jack Handey-esque to me, but I don’t know if it would be viewed as funny to some, but then again, some people just don’t get Jack Handey. And frankly, if you don’t think he’s funny, I don’t know if I can speak to you ever again. I kid! Sort of. Just kidding!
Anyway, I’ve been a little uninspired in the knitting lately. It’s probably just hormonal. Whatever. Also, now that I look at it, I have mostly WINTERY things on the needles: 2 sweaters, a scarf, a blanket. The only exception is the currently evil lace shrug until I fix it. But right now, the shrug and I are not on speaking terms. I should probably just apologize to the shrug for not paying attention and screwing up, but I’m feeling a little irrational today, so I think I’ll just pout a little longer.
This only proves that you can’t really read and now you’re trying to cover it up with humor. About the bleach…I guess they figured we would know this and not so much about drinking hand lotion.
Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to calm myself down. I’ll go over to the persons house and ring the doorbell. When the person comes to the door, I’m gone, but you know what I’ve left on the porch? A jack-o-lantern with a knife stuck in the side of it’s head with a note that says “You.” After that I usually feel a lot better, and no harm done.
Good old Jack Handy…
Jack who? I’m just kidding of course. No, no I’m not. I have to start my winter knitting now, how else will I get them done in time to wear them this winter?