I love Google. I use Chrome. I have a gmail account, an android phone (I’m on my 3rd one. Upgrades, babby!) and use a whole gamut of google services/products. Including Google Voice. You guys? I almost never want to answer my phone just to see what Google Voice is going to transcribe. I have gotten the most garbled transcriptions that are so hysterical, I have cried from laughing so hard. Seriously.
So I’ve decided to start sharing them with you on the blog. The only thing I’m changing is my name. Because I do not need you crazies showing up at my house. Oh. Wait. Nevermind!
Anyway. The best crazy transcriptions come when I get a pre-recorded call. It’s like one machine talking to another machine that records what it’s saying. Then ANOTHER machine listens to what the second machine recorded and then translates what’s said using Babelfish. It’s AWESOME. Like this one:
Hello, this is your wife needs door. We are calling to remind Miss. Pants that your order is ready you can pick up your order until. Hey Eric, Thank you for choosing my date. I have a nice day. This Message will be repeated, Hello, this is your wife needs door. We are calling to remind Miss. Pants did your order is ready you can pick up your order until. Hey Eric, Thank you for choosing ready and have a nice day. This Message will be repeated, Hello, this is your wife needs door. We are calling to remind Miss. Pants that your order is ready you can pick up your order until. Hey Eric, Thank you for choosing ready. Have a nice day.
Or like this one from the school (I totally changed the number. I mean seriously. We don’t live in a movie.):
This is a test of the estate. If you’ll see the screws weapon notification system. So if you have received this message in error. Please contact the Board of Education, 555-5555. We encourage all i a pair of to by phone numbers and email addresses and I’ll rapid notification system. If you have forgotten your password. Please contact your child’s school. Thank you for your quick response in this matter to hear this message again press one like dial our toll free replay line at 186. Thanks, okay thanks bye 4384.
See what I mean? Comedy Gold.
Or! I just had an even better idea.
Behold.
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