You’ve really gone down hill lately. You’re like an actress who has passed her heyday, and instead of retiring gracefully, you’re all boozy and embarrassing and do stupid things in public and don’t even realize it or care. And you still dress about 20 years behind the times. I mean, honestly, maybe you should just give up. Or get some help. A LOT of help.
First of all, you charge an arm, a leg and a firstborn child for a ticket to see a movie. Then you ask that we sign over our souls for our drinks and candy, popcorn and nachos. I mean, where else in the free world do they charge $3.90 for a bottle of water? WHERE? You want to talk about terrorism and racketeering and all that? Why don’t you do some internal reflecting.
Anyway, we got there right when the 7:00 p.m. moving was starting to show. We gave you our arms and legs and firstborn children. We went to the snack bar, signed over our souls and headed into the movie theater thinking we would walk in on the previews.
Not so much.
All we wanted last night was to go see the 7:00 p.m. showing of Spiderman 3 (which was just ok, but we won’t blame that on you) and then go to Whole Foods for some dinner. Is that too much to ask? Apparently so because you didn’t bother to start the movie on time. Oh no. You didn’t start the movie until damn near 7:30 p.m. If we had wanted to see the 7:30 show, we would have bought tickets to that show. Then, to add insult to injury, you cut the credits off almost right after they started.
Hey asshole, if you start the movie late, don’t cut the credits out because you’re an idiot. Some of us like to watch the credits.
Anyway, because of you, it was 10 p.m. when we left the movie instead of 9:30 like we’d planned on, which totally ruined any chance of getting to go to Whole Foods (or like the sign said last night: Who Foo) and getting a very tasty salad from the salad bar. You screwed me out of a proper dinner last night, Carmike Theaters. I’ll never forgive you for that. NEVER.
Love,
Grace
Hey, we were selling our souls to the movie theatre last night too! Pirates was good, but loooong. And yes, the highlight to our evening was the Who Foo sign…heeelarious.
Theaters didn’t used to suck nearly so much as they do now. Their whole business model is to pack in lots of people so they can sell them $3.85 water. This is because they don’t make jack diddly on the movie.
When a half liter of filtered tap water costs more than than a gallon of gas something is wrong. Snacks and drinks at theater are on my “do not buy” list.