Dear California Pizza Kitchen,

I like your restaurant ok when I want overpriced pizza. And I think it is normal for most chain restaurants to market some of their more popular dishes. I mean, they are all over the frozen aisles at the Publix. I don?t have a problem with that at all.

However, what I do have a problem with is the fact that you lied. And not just that, but you did a really poor job of it. Either that or you can?t count. And I?d prefer to think you lied rather than you can?t count to FIVE. Because if you can?t count? I don?t want you handling my money. And if I don?t want you handling my money, that means I?m not coming to your restaurant. See how this is bad for you?

Now look at this and tell me what is wrong with this picture. Take your time.

Don’t see the problem? Let?s review then. You state very plainly that this is a FIVE CHEESE & TOMATO pizza. Then, in the upper right hand corner, you list the cheeses:

1. Mozzarella Cheeses
2. Fontina Cheese
3. Smoked Gouda Cheese
4. Romano Cheese

I?m sorry CPK, but that is FOUR cheeses. You told me there were FIVE cheeses. What is up with that? And making mozzarella plural DOES NOT COUNT AS TWO CHEESES. What is that? You used skim and whole mozzarella? I?m not buying it.

If you?re not really going to use FIVE cheeses, then you shouldn?t advertise it as FIVE CHEESE & TOMATO pizza. You should just call it CHEESE & TOMATO pizza, or FOUR CHEESE & TOMATO pizza.

Also? You should learn how to lie better. Or count. Or both.

Love,
Miss Pants

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