In Which I Plan to Embarrass Myself Greatly

Henry Rollins is coming to Birmingham on his Spoken Word Tour?in February. As a matter of fact, we’re his first venue in the US on this tour. (He starts in Europe.) I wonder if it’s because we’ll get his work as much as the?Europeans so it will be an easy transition? “We” as in southerners as in the idiot southern stereotype. Or is it because he’s keeping all the strong dialects of language grouped together? Just curious.

ANYWAY.

B is a HUGE Henry Rollins fan. You might say HR is his hero. Though it’s a toss up between HR and Alton Brown. (We are diverse in our interests.) I have never seen Henry Rollins perform live either in Black Flag or doing spoken word. I’ve watched his show a few times and have always found him a little…scary. He’s really intense and on the show he doesn’t seem very comfortable with himself. For me, watching his show is like watching a small train wreck. It’s not that it’s necessarily a bad show, but it’s so obvious to me that he doesn’t enjoy it like he wants to and so it’s just awkward*.

Anyway, the venue where we’re seeing him do his spoken word is the Carver Theatre. It’s a small venue and will probably be fairly intimate. According to B, he ususally hangs out after his shows to sign stuff and meet and greet if you will.

This is where the part about me embarrassing myself greatly comes in.

I’ve decided that to support B in his hero worship of Rollins, I will do something too. Like make HR his own little knitted mini-me. I’m using the pattern from Stitch ‘n Bitch Nation, but I’m using stash yarns that?are leftover from other projects. The pattern calls for cotton, but I don’t knit with cotton. Henry Rollins’ doppleganger is going to be the softest doll in the world because I’m using alpaca yarn and?a cashmere/merino wool blend yarn. I almost want to keep it for myself. But I’m making this for HR, so HR will be the one who gets it.

However, I get really tongue tied when I’m trying to give someone something, especially when it’s something that I’ve made myself and I’ve never met them. Add the fact that he’s famous and is probably given stuff all the time that he probably likes better than a knitted doll of himself (regardless of how soft it is, because let’s face it: he’s a muggle), and well, we’ve got a really good recipe for embarrassment at the very least and grand disaster if we’re lucky.

I’m also hoping to get him to pose for a picture with the doll. Because that is not creepy at all.

But, I’ve already told the blog and a few other friends and my husband is fully aware of my intentions and does not want to be involved in the exchange in any way,?so I can’t back out. So, for the sake of the blog and my word (but most certainly not my dignity) on February 19, 2008 at the Carver Theatre in Birmingham, AL I will give Henry Rollins a doll that looks like him and ask him to pose for a picture with said doll.

If I’m lucky, this will be as bad as it gets:

Me: Um, hi. I made this for you. It’s your mini-me.

HR: Uh, thanks. I guess you’re a really big fan.

Me: No, not really. I just like to knit.

HR: Blank stare.

Me: Um, so would you mind if I took a picture of you with the doll? I need it for my knitting?blog because I told them I would.

HR: You told who?

Me: My blog. Do you mind?

HR: Blank Stare

Me: *click*

[These are my personal views on watching his show. I know nothing about the man so I am in no way judging his character or anything to that affect. So if you're a HUGE Rollins fan, like my husband, I am not dissing your hero. I'm just stating an observation.]