me: do you think it’s too late to start on christmas gift knitting?

Naomi: depends on what the object is

me: I haven’t decided that yet
or who gets gifts

Naomi: so yeah, that could be problematic

me: how do you feel about washcloths for christmas?
but fancy ones
with different stitches

Naomi: ummm…

me: ok
washcloths for EVERYONE!
YAY!

Naomi: hahaha
that would be easy and also useful

Naomi: we actually need some for the kitchen area

me: wait
I’m trying to only knit from the stash
this might not work

Naomi: yeah, how is your cotton stash looking?

me: mostly leftovers
so it would be very…random and possibly discordant
if you’re looking for a soothing, feng shui dish cloth, this may not be ideal for you

Naomi: yeah, i don’t give a flying eff about dish cloths
just saying

me: that’s a shitty attitude to have about a christmas present
just saying

…….

me: I think I want to be a pirate for halloween!

Naomi:

me: but not a pirate ho
like a full on pirate

Naomi: yeah
sexy-costumes of regular stuff is creepy
i saw a sexy banana one year

me: I need this costume in adult size, pls

Naomi: eek

me: how is a banana sexy?
was it a daiquiri?

Naomi: no
it was a skin tight yellow dress in the shape of a banana

me: so
it was a shemale
in a yellow dress

Naomi: no
just a sorority girl

me: sounds like a shemale to me

Naomi: the banana was the whole dress, not a protrusion from the groinal area

me: Pictures pls

Naomi: dude
i did not take

me: I just can’t picture it
I need a visual
can you draw me a picture?

Naomi: here

me: that’s not a dress
that’s a onsie with missing buttons

Naomi: i’m not splitting hairs

me: captain hook
I’m gonna be captain hook