Last night B and I went and saw Cirque du Soleil Dralion for his birthday. It was an amazing show and watching it gave me chills and goosebumps. I felt like a little kid again being mesmerized by watching amazing acrobatics. It was like magic. I strongly urge you to go see this show. It does not disappoint!

During the intermission, I was talking to the couple sitting next to me and the man said that after seeing the acrobatics of Dralion, he will not be able to enjoy Olympic gymnastics anymore because he knows what the acrobats of Cirque can do. So. True. This show is absolutely stunning.

What was not awesome were the two women who were sitting behind B and me. First of all, one of the women came in talking LOUDLY on her cell phone. I was slightly irritated by this, but it was pre-show and I was hoping she would get off the phone before the show started and maybe not be so loud.

And then she kicked me in the back. Seriously. She was too busy talking on her phone to pay attention to what she was doing when she sat down so she kicked me in the back. (Tragic foreshadowing) I turned around to see what the hell was going on and she apologized. This was the only time I got an apology from this woman all night.

When the show started, they were whooping, hollering and heckling like they were at a wraslin’ show. Not wrestling. WRASLIN’. Let’s just say it was ridiculously obnoxious. B turned around and asked them to tone it down. The chick who kicked me in the back got uppity with him and told B that “They were a part of the show too” and that he should mind his own damn business. Then they talked smack about my husband through a good part of the first half of the show. Seriously. Because, asking someone to be respectful of the people around them is BEING AN ASSHOLE.

She also got asked by one of the ushers to turn her phone off in the middle of the first act after multiple signs and announcements were made that all cell phones should be turned off during the show and that photographing and videoing the show was strictly prohibited. She argued with the usher that it wasn’t a big deal because, “It was just a text message!” And then grumped to her friend about how rude the usher was because, “It was just a text message!” THE NERVE of that bitchy usher telling her what to do. SHE HAS RIGHTS.

They got up and walked out during the intermission and I know everyone in their row, the row behind them, our row and the row in front of us were praying to every god we could think of that those two women wouldn’t come back. And when the second half of the show started and they were nowhere to be seen or heard, we though that our prayers had been answered.

But then they showed back up bitching LOUDLY about how long the line in the bathroom was and how inconsiderate everyone in the bathroom was because the one chick had diabetes and NO ONE LET THEM CUT IN LINE and PEOPLE ARE SO RUDE.

HAHAHAHAHAHA! OMG. The IRONY. It was lost on them.

And this was the straw that broke my back. My patience had completely and utterly ran out. So I did the unthinkable.

I turned around and asked her to keep her voice down.

Excuse me, but could you please keep it down? We all paid good money to come and see this show. We did not pay a lot of money to listen to you and your friend talk through the whole thing. So if you could tone it down, we would all appreciate it.

She immediately responded by yelling at me that they had medical problems and her nerves were shot and her friend was a diabetic and I needed to shut my mouth and turn around. Like if I didn’t, she was going to throw down her Dick Tracy hat and fight me. (Did I mention she was dressed like she was going to see a Van Halen concert? In 1982?)

I don’t respond well to threats. In fact, all this woman did was make me dig my heels in and stand my ground.

So I asked her again to keep her voice down. At this point, none of us could hear the music over her yelling.

She kept true to her trailer park trash raising and responded by cussing me out. And, to all of our collective surprise, she got even louder. Honestly? I’m surprised the show kept going, she was that loud.

During my request for her to SHUT IT and her yelling and then cussing me out, B and two other men had already gotten up and asked the usher to remove them from our section. B came back and told me that the usher (female) was waiting on a manager to come and ask them to leave.

Also? There were 3 young children sitting in the row in front of us. We never heard a peep out of them once the show started and even before the show started, they were really well-behaved. Kudos to those two sets of parents for teaching their kids manners. I know one of the dad’s on that row got up to complain about her as well. I don’t blame him. I am by no means a prude, but I wouldn’t want my kid to listen to someone like that in a public place. (As it was, BAD Boy was at the Alabama game with my MIL. And while I wanted him to see the show with us, I ended up being glad he wasn’t there.)

Anyway, back to the story at hand. After she started cussing me out, I asked her again, to tone it down and to watch her language because there were kids who could hear her talking and the language wasn’t appreciated. She responded by CUSSING ME OUT EVEN LOUDER. I could have sworn she had a microphone on her, she was so loud.

And then after cussing me out for what seemed like an eternity (maybe it was 2 minutes tops), she decided that she had had ENOUGH of ME BEING AN ASSHOLE. She and her friend got up to go complain about me to management. And I WAS GOING TO BE SORRY I MESSED WITH HER.

Seriously. I was the asshole. Is your mind boggled yet? Mine was.

When they got up to leave, though? Everyone clapped. I’m sure those two women thought they were clapping for the two of them because THEY WERE RIGHT. And they would be right. Just…not how they perceived it. Everyone was clapping because they voluntarily got up and left our section.

They didn’t come back, either. That was the best part.

I used to be one of those people who would shake my head at people like that, get pissed off and do nothing. There was also that little voice of doubt in the back of my head that would say stuff like, “You know even if you say something, it won’t do any good.” or “You were raised to turn the other cheek.” (<–What the hell?)

But you know what? Even if that woman didn’t listen to me? The end result is still what I and all the people sitting around us wanted. I don’t know that anyone else would have gotten up if I hadn’t said something and voiced what everyone around us was thinking. Maybe they would have, but it usually takes one person to speak up and take a stand before others will act. Especially when everyone is on the same page about something.

In this instance, I would like to think that I was that one person.

In a perfect world, that woman would have recognized that SHE was the asshole. Not B or me. She would have apologized for her behavior and toned it down and everyone would have had a good time. Actually, in a truly perfect world, that woman would never have acted the way she did. Sadly, we do not live in that world.

And since this is the only world we’ve got, I’m not going to wait around for someone else to make it a better place. It starts with me, standing up for what I believe in. I don’t have to be rude or ugly about it. I just have to believe in it and hold my ground.

My only regret about what happened last night? That I didn’t say something during the first act of the show.