When I got home this afternoon, I was not greeted by a wiggly puppy butt because B had to take Charlie to the vet for his annual shots. Poor pup. He’ll get extra treats tonight for that misery. And a bath. I know he’ll be so excited about the bath after all the shots. But that’s not what this post is all about. I digress. Yet again.

Anyway, I came home to a very quiet house except for the piteous mewing coming from behind a closed door. As Chelsea generally does not move from this perch, I knew it had to be Chloe. Chloe has a knack for getting shut in rooms. I think she kinda likes it. Usually. Turns out Chloe had been trapped in the bathroom. All. Day.

Do you know where I’m going with this? Do you? I think she must know what the bathroom is for and she, uh, utilized it. Except my cat? She is not trained to use the toilet like the cat in Meet the Fockers. Oh no. My cat crapped in the sink. Also? It’s been cold around these parts and the heat was blasting in the bathroom, so the smell that hit me in the face when I let her out of the bathroom was… pungent.

Also, did I mention the part where my cat is still peeing blood? Because she’s still peeing blood. We’ve done 3 rounds of antibiotics, changed her diet, changed her water to filtered and it keeps happening. She is quickly becoming the Million Dollar Cat™. And not in a good way. So after the last time she went to the vet for the peeing blood thing, it didn’t go so well with the overnight stay to collect a urine sample. Basically, she sprayed the kennel she was in and also peed in the litter box and then proceeded to lay in said litter box. So mostly they just cleaned the pee off of her instead of collecting it. After a very unsuccessful stay, they sent her home with more antibiotics and a dropper to possibly get a urine sample.

Um, yes. A dropper.  To collect her urine. Hello? I have 2 cats. How am I supposed to discern who peed where in the litter box? Yeah, that went nowhere quickly. Until today. Because not only did she crap in the sink, she peed all over the bathtub. But this time it was fresh.

Yes, I did, internets. I got a dropper and sucked up cat pee to take to the vet tomorrow. It’s in the fridge right now inside a ziplock bag. (I totally just threw up in my mouth a little.) So Miss Chloe Million Dollar Cat™ will be going to the vet with a urine sample tomorrow. Hopefully this time they’ll be able to figure out what’s wrong with her.

Keep your fingers crossed for Miss Chloe Pee Pee Pants and that the vet can finally find out what’s wrong with her with the help of the urine sample, k?

Now can someone please get me a drinky? I need to remove the memory of cleaning warm cat poop out of the sink and sucking up cat pee out of the bathtub. ::shudder::