I thought I would post less often and then that way I would have more to say. What if I have found is that when I post less often, I find myself thinking that I should suddenly have something important and meaningful to blog about. Something that will change your life and probably make you cry.
And then I think, “What the fuck? This is a self-indulgent, nonsensical, sometimes knitting related blog. YOU ARE NOT OPRAH.” Which then leads to, “Damn, I hate Dr. Phil. He is such a moron. HOW did he get his own TV show? Who did HE sleep with? Oprah?”
It pretty much goes to hell in a ha’nd basket after that.
So here’s what’s been going on with me when I am not obsessing about my hatred of Dr. Phil:
I have given my anal-retentive need to finish a project before I start a new one the boot. I have started TWO different projects in the last THREE days. I know, right? CALL THE PRESS! I’m sure there are some of you that are like, “Big whoop. I’ve started 13 projects in one day. TOP THAT!” I could, but I won’t. I don’t like to be a show off.
[Sister? SHUT UP.]
Also, I just realized that it kinda maybe screws me hardcore in the Mission Possible attempt. This wild abandon of starting projects all willy nilly and stuff. Because tonight? I might just start on another project. It could happen. Well, maybe not. A scarf and a baby sweater are totally doable along with my attempt to rid myself of some seriously languishing UFOs, right? Yes? I am only marginally delusional? Don’t answer that.
No! Wait! I am a little absent minded sometimes. The baby sweater? It is Trellis. WHICH IS ON MY LIST. So I’m actually doing just fine. So nevermind about the screwing myself. Also? I love it. I’m knitting it with Debbie Bliss Rialto in Moss which is 100% superwash merino. This yarn is so soft. And it’s sproingy to the Nth degree. I love this yarn so much, I would totally go parking with it and we would make out and I would maybe even let it get to second base. It is that good.
Also, I understand now why people like to knit baby things. You can knit an entire sweater in like 3 days. Ok, so maybe that’s a bit of an exaggeration for me (if you can knit that fast, don’t tell me so we can stay friends, ok?). But seriously, you can have a garment all knit up and good to go in no time flat. I’m also thinking that this little sweater is going to get so much more mileage than that stupid squeaky blanket.
Oh, and on a COMPLETELY unrelated note? Last night while I was knitting Trellis, I was watching Ghost Rider in HD. When B and I went to go see it in the theatres, we had a good laugh about Nick Cage’s cock sucking abs during his bath towel scene. So, watching Ghost Rider at home meant I got to see Nick Cage’s cock sucking abs in HD and it was, um, probably only funny to me.
Have I mentioned how much I hate Dr. Phil?
April 22, 2008 at 1:08 PM
You’re right. I didn’t.
April 22, 2008 at 1:13 PM
I need to sit down. And have a drink. You’re much like a ride at Six Flags right now chickie.
April 22, 2008 at 1:38 PM
Show off.
April 22, 2008 at 2:13 PM
“cock sucking abs” Please tell me what these are? Is there a specific set of abdominal muscles dedicated to this activity? Is it the soaz muscle? The obliques? Help me, my brain at work can not handle such distracting confusion, now that my focus is on well, cock sucking abs.
I too hate Dr. Phil. I used to hate Oprah, but then realized that she gets people to read…and she builds schools.
And I think it’s totally okay to start a new project before finishing an old one.
Let’s take another sunny walk soon.
April 22, 2008 at 2:41 PM
I would totally go parking with it and we would make out and I would maybe even let it get to second base.
Hee!
Also, I, too, am perplexed about cock-sucking abs (though I seriously almost typed “sock cucking, or maybe even sock sucking). Are these abs… homosexual?
April 22, 2008 at 5:13 PM
“Nick Cage?s cock sucking abs” – huh?
I’m not sure now whether to watch the movie, or avoid it at all costs.
April 22, 2008 at 11:32 PM
I’m still laughing at Emily’s “sock cucking”. *snicker* Seriously. I can’t read your blog this late at night. I wake people up. LOL
April 23, 2008 at 1:16 AM
I hesitate to think about what Debbie Bliss might consider second base.
April 23, 2008 at 8:51 AM
Seth Green once said on Letterman (or maybe Leno…or Conan?) that Dr Phil drives a ridiculously expensive car. I can’t remember if it was a Lamborghini or what, but it always gave me the impression that Phil is a fraud. (Well, duh! Of course he is!)
Funny about Nick Cage. Even with his recent entry into the action/adventure genre, I still see him as that dopey dirtbag from Raising Arizona. And his cock sucking abs must not have been that great because I don’t remember them.
April 24, 2008 at 1:23 PM
Grace,
You are the only person that can mention screwing yourself twice (hardcore! in one case) AND cock sucking in the same post and somehow manage to make it sound like you are still dressed.
I assumed you were dressed when you wrote this. Then I suddenly realized that wasn’t necessarily the case.
Awkward.