Little Miss Drama Pants

Last year after BAD Boy’s birthday, we were in Bed Bath and Beyond and saw this and he and I both had to have it. He thought it would be awesome. He to have it made for him and me to make it.

I mean, look at it! It’s gotta be easy, right? And it’s so cute! How could you not want to make that? The answer is simple. You just have to do it. And so today, that’s what I did.

Oh, did I mention that Saturday is BAD Boy’s birthday? And that his party is tomorrow? Yeah, that’s also why I decided to start on the cupcake bear cake today. And so I mixed up my cake mix and baked the cupcakes and followed the directions just like it said. See?

Yummy yummy cupcakes. In shapes!

Look at my lovely cupcake humps! Lumps? Whatever. They smelled divine. I patiently waited for them to cool down. I even went and visited my parents while they were cooling down. My aunt and uncle are visiting from Korea. They got in yesterday to today we went by to see them and say hello. It was really nice. I haven’t seen them in about 8 years.

We came back home and I reviewed the directions for the cupcake bear cake. I wanted to make sure I got it right.

I’ll be honest. At this point, I was still ridiculously optimistic about how great this bear was going to turnout. I had bought icing decorating tips, bags, food coloring, decorating icing. I went all out for this cake. I was going to do it right. It was going to be AWESOME. I just knew it! And so I forged ahead and assembled my bear.

I even threw in an extra balloon. I stepped back to admire my handy work and document my progress. And that’s when I noticed the gaps. They’re kind of big. Also, the “neck” area where the head connects to the body looks awfully small compared to the picture on the box. And whoops, that bottom left “foot” isn’t quite so round since I did a crap job of getting rid of the excess cake that overflowed.

But I still had faith that the icing would, you know, even things out. So I got started on the icing. Now I bought Wilton Decorator Icing. It’s good for making roses! And other such things. And I figured it would be perfect for what I was doing. Also, it was white icing so I had to add cocoa powder and milk to the icing to create chocolate icing for the bear’s main color. And I managed to do it. And the icing tastes FANFUCKINGTASTIC. Nice and chocolatey, too. Though I may have possibly burned the motor out of the little hand held mixer. But let’s not talk about that.

Let’s talk about this. Right before I started on this endeavor, I tweeted this:

Attempting to make this: http://short.to/1gquq I really hope I don’t end up on @cakewrecks.

Well, I may have jinxed myself, folks.

You know what the saddest part is about the bear? It’s not the lack of smoothness of the icing. Or the tiny neck. Or the fact that the “arms” are two different sizes. The saddest part about this bear is that if time were not the constraint it is, I would have continued on, mixed the different colors and finished the damn bear. AND the balloons. But, I’ve got to get up and get to work in the morning so I stopped after this. Which really, after looking at this sad, sad picture is probably for the best.

I’ll be stopping at the Publix bakery on my way home tomorrow to get a BAD Boy a birthday cake that DOES NOT look like this.

You know, I wasn’t really sure if spring was really here yet or not. Yes, I know we’ve had some really lovely days with the temperature getting up into the 60s (F). But the nights are still pretty cold, so I was skeptical. Which, in hindsight, I now realize was stupid. Because it was only a matter of time before you would put the smack down on me.

And this year, you were so subtle about it, it’s taken me two days to figure it out. It started yesterday with a splitting headache in the afternoon. I finally got it to go away with my friends ibuprofen and caffeine, but then it came back again today. At about the same time, even.

And that’s when it hit me.

Allergies. Pollen. My arch nemeses.

You guys are back in town.

Bastards.

Looks like I’ll be arming myself with my daily generic Allegra and local honey to stave you off. But, guys? This is really getting old. And I’d really appreciate it if you would just stop. Mkay?

KTHANKXBAI!

Love,
Miss Pants

Due to understandable circumstances, I kind of dropped the ball on my Project 365.

I really really like the idea of taking a picture every day even if I don’t always know what to take the picture of. And I like the idea of dedicating a little space on the internets to showcase my little pictures, crappy or not. Because, you know, I am a very important person.

Isn’t that why you keep coming back here?

AMIRITE?

YES?

I thought so.

So, I decided to start Project 365 again on March 1. Which I did. And I commemorated this special occasion by creating a photoblog. You can get to it by heading over to the side column and clicking on the thumbnail under Photo du Jour.

Or you can just go here: http://littledramapants.com/photoblog/

(If you go there and want to get back here, just click the “Home” tab over there and it will bring you back here. Voila! Just be sure to leave me all kinds of love and affirmation of my awesome skills at taking pictures over there before you come back over here.)

Plus, if I tell you guys about it, then in theory, I am obligated to keep up with it. So you’re kind of like my checks and balances. Don’t you feel special? You should feel special. Because you are special. And gosh darn it, people like you.

OK. So you know how I’m turning over this new leaf and being all exercise-y and stuff? Well, last night I lifted weights. I used the cybex machines at the gym and did an upper body circuit. You know, because my pecks? They could be bigger. (NOT.)

Actually, let me go back just a little bit further. When you join the Y, they have this neat new thing that they’re doing called PATHWAY. Basically, you set up an appointment to speak to someone who will help you set goals and ways to meet those goals to help you make better use of your membership. It’s not personal training, because once they help you set your goals, you’re on your own to stick to them, but it’s more of a gentle push to get set up in the right direction and help decrease gym crash, burnout and avoidance.

I decided to do this. And while meetings like that tend to make me jittery before hand because I am slowly becoming a recluse, I was really glad I did it. He sat down, explained what this program was about and we set about to make some goals. And this, dear internets, is where I am going to share them with you.

1. Do 2 pull-ups
2. Work out 3 – 4 times a week
3. Lose 10 lbs in 10 weeks
4. Eventually run a 5k (I am going to do this even if it kills me, damnit)

Goal 5 that I did not share with a complete stranger in person, but am totally OK with sharing on the world wide webs is to make my boobs smaller. I think about 75% of my BMI comes from my boobs. And they are just getting ridiculous. And so I am hoping that by working out, my boobs will get smaller naturally and I will not have to have breast reduction surgery. Let’s do some Drama Pants Math™. I am roughly 5′3″. I weight 180 lbs. My bra size is 34 FF/G. I would ideally like to wear a bra size of 34 C/D. 34 DD, tops. This means I need to drop anywhere from 3 – 5 cup sizes. This translates to losing about 15 – 20 lbs of breast mass. Give or take a few.I’ve got my work cut out for me.

So, the lifting of the weights? It serves a multi-fold purpose.

1. Lifting weights helps increase muscle strength.
2. Increased muscle strength means I can reach my goal of doing 2 pull ups
3. Increased muscle also means that carrying the weight of my 50 lb boobs will be easier on my poor, overworked muscles.
4. Lifting weights also helps increase metabolism.
5. Increased metabolism means more fat burning.
6. More fat burning means smaller boobs. Yay!
7. And also helps reach goal 3 of losing 10 lbs.

Cardio also is great for burning calories, but when you add lifting weights to all that? It’s just that much better.

Also! I am not interested in looking like a waif because that is not for me. I am made of hips and ass and boobs and lots and lots of curves. Some good, some not so great. So what I want is to tone down some of the curves in a healthy manner. So if you want to put that in a clothing size, ladies, I look best as a size 8/10. I am currently in a size 10/12. Mostly 12. I will let you know what weight that is for me because I am going to do this according to how my clothes fit, now what the scale tells me. You know why? SCALES LIE. That’s why.

Also? After watching all the Winter Olympics and seeing the female athletes, I realized something. These women? Who are doing phenomenal things? They are not stick thin women. They don’t starve themselves. They can’t in order to do the things they do. And they looked great! And totally HAWT! THAT is how I want to look. Healthy. Great. And still Curvy. But with slightly smaller curves.

Also, also? I have about 15 times more energy when I work out. And THAT is the best part. I feel better.

We joined the YMCA. We have what is essentially a home gym downstairs but we almost never use it. I tend to view that space as “those machines are in the space where I could potentially have a dye kitchen.” But I digress.

Since we’ve been trying to get pregnant, we both feel it would be in our best interest to get into better shape and be healthier. And especially for me to find something that I can do before, during and after pregnancy. And for me, that is swimming. I love being in the water, moving through it and how very zen it is to concentrate on nothing but my breathing and counting laps. I know that sounds crazy, but it is what it is. Plus, as much as I like to run, my foot is still gets all hurty on me from time to time when I try to run for more than a week and a half. But when I swim, it doesn’t hurt at all. That is so win-win.

So the Y we joined has a pull that is open year round, which, how awesome is that? But the best part is that it’s a SALINE POOL! And I know you’re probably just all, yeah, whatever. But this is where I tell why it is not just yeah, whatever, but SO AWESOME! (Today’s word of the day is awesome. I cannot stop using it. I don’t know why.) Salt water = more buoyancy in the water. Which is good, but what is even better is that saline is not as hard on your skin or your hair! (Oh my god, I have become my mother.) And the not being as hard on hair and skin is very nice when you have decided to swim 2 – 3 times a week. I know this, because when I was in college and used to swim 5 days a week, chlorine will wreck a girl’s hair. And you can just forget about coloring your hair when you’re constantly in a chlorinated pool. So yeah, saline pool? It’s teh AWESOME.

Also, completely unrelated and yet kind of related, look! Sometimes we can be cute together.

He is mushing my face with his giant forehead. Aaaah!

Also, I can totally school him in the water. So, I win!