Case in point. Our air conditioner that has been struggling to keep up with the weather? Well, it maybe isn’t the AC’s fault. B had a friend in the AC business come over and add some more freon to the AC and then did some research. What he found out was that we needed more insulation in our attic. I think we had something like 2-4 inches of insulation up there and what we needed was more like 10 inches.

The math was pretty simple. Spend a few hundred dollars on insulation and employ blood, sweat and tears or a few thousand on a new AC and eat ramen noodles and mac & cheese for a few years. So we decided to do what anyone in our situation would do. We opted for the cheaper, more miserable option.

Setting up the machine

And my dear, sweet husband wanted to get the job done so we started this process around 2:00 pm yesterday afternoon. In about 100° heat with at least 80% humidity. Maybe 1000% humidity. It’s hard to tell anymore. Anyway, he tried to convince me that I had the “easy” job of feeding insulation into that green bin of horrors. You know, because he had it so much more rough than I did being up in the attic and blowing the insulation around.

After about an hour and a half after we started, I was covered in more insulation than got blown up into the attic (I keep typing “attack” for “attic.”) and we were only 6 bags into the 25. To say I was miserable was an understatement.

You can click to make the photos bigger and see me covered in a fine layer of insulation. And this was after constantly wiping myself down to get it off me. Which, by the way, was doing its job smashingly well. Sadly, I had no need to be insulated. What with it already being 100° with lots and lots of humidity. And I’m trying desperately to stay cool any way I can. So that continual layer of insulation all over my body? NOT HELPING.

I finally managed to convince B that the reason this stupid insulation isn’t getting suck up into the hose (that I am no longer convinced we even need) and up into the attic because it’s too busy spinning around in the machine thingamabob and GROWING from the heat and humidity. So how about we call it quits for a few hours? Maybe we can start it again after dark? Or when it’s not so hot? Like maybe in December? No?

Damnit.

Then how about we stop for now and maybe start back up around 5 or 6? You know, when it’s NOT SO FUCKING HOT.

So we took a break. I had to de-fur myself before even heading upstairs where I promptly laid down in the floor and passed out. Have you ever been so hot and tired that when you pass out you have really weird dreams? Like the kind where you’re best friends with your ex-husband and babysitting his kids so he can get laid? No? Uh, yeah. Me neither.

ANYWAY. Moving along.

B woke me up a few hours later and we started the whole miserable process over again. However, I would like to say that I was RIGHT about the humidity and its effect on the stupid insulation and that once it wasn’t THE HOTTEST PART OF THE DAY, it started moving like it was supposed to. Also? The directions on that stupid machine LIED. It said to open up the suck-it-up-the-tube part 3/4 of the way. Nope. It needed to be opened up 1/2 way in order to create the proper amount of suction. Clearly the stupid thing was never meant to be operated during an Alabama summer. Especially in the middle of a heat wave.

Ugh

But I digress.

At the very least, it was somewhat gratifying to find that blowing 6 bags of insulation no longer took an hour and a half but only half an hour. Which was a really good thing considering there was still THIRTEEN BAGS OF INSULATION left to blow. And don’t get me wrong, it was still cooler than it had been, but it’s all relative and still REALLY FUCKING HOT and I was still getting covered in insulation.

Turning Furry

And in my delirium decided I was slowly  becoming some kind of live action anime arctic fox. Except brown. So I must be a anime fox in a post-apocalyptic earth where snow is always brown, which is why I was turning into a brown arctic fox. And that would be better than looking like a furry teddy bear.  Because I have pointy ears and bears don’t have pointy ears, but fox do. And how sad is it that snow is brown? And why is it that they say you should go green when really it’s brown… Sometimes it really helps to go a little crazy. It makes the time pass more quickly.

Because suddenly I was done.

Finished, But Not Happy

I was hot, sweaty, extremely cranky and covered head to toe in sweat covered insulation. But definitely done.

And, even though I hate to admit it, B was right about the insulation helping the house stay a little cooler. Today is the first day in WEEKS that the temperature in house has been under 80°. And that’s a really good thing. And right now? I am really happy. REALLY REALLY HAPPY. This is gonna be the best vacation ever now that this place has cold(er) air.